I have family in Italy, and my wife and I are planning a trip to visit them later this year. It’ll be the first time in 20 years I’ve seen them, and it’s going to be an unreal time.

For some reason though, when we visit family abroad, it’s way easier to forget some of the common etiquette rules of staying as a house guest. If you’re staying for more than a couple days and don’t want to be that family member, make sure you consider these etiquette guidelines for your trip!

Rule #1: Pay for your damn food!

While your family may try to feed you and cover the costs, it isn’t fair to them. It gets really expensive really fast, so make sure you pay your own way. Either buy the ingredients, or order food elsewhere.

I get it – this can be REALLY tough to get away with if you have family as generous as mine… but it’s important. Remember, just because they’re showing you a good time, doesn’t mean it won’t be a tough one for them later when it comes time to pay the bills.

Rule #2: Bring gifts.

It’s a nice touch to bring gifts for the family you’re visiting, especially if they have kids. If possible, give them gifts that they can’t find in their own city or country, or that speak uniquely to your hometown.

In my case, my family in Italy has requested Canada flags, so that’s what we’ll be bringing. It can be anything, really though: some toys from your local store, food unique to your area, or small artistic trinkets.

Rule #3: Clean up after yourself.

When you get up in the morning, make your bed. If you use their dishes, wash them afterward. You get the point.

Rule #4: Don’t expect to be treated like royalty.

You and I aren’t celebrities; don’t expect to be treated like one. Remember that if you’re staying with family for an extended period of time, they have their own daily lives to go about while you play tourist. Someone can’t always be available to chauffer you around town or show you the sights, and that’s ok. It’s on you to plan your days and make sure you have a self-sufficient way to get to where you’d like to go.

Oh and by the way… having dinner or drinks ready for when your family comes home from work is a really nice touch, if you can get away with it 🙂

Rule #5: If you ARE being driven around, pay for gas.

Sometimes your family will just insist on showing you around. If that’s the case, so be it – but be gracious about it. Offer to pay for gas, or to take everyone out for a nice dinner or something afterward. It’s the least you can do in exchange for your family’s hospitality!

Wrapping it Up

Ultimately, there’s just one thing to keep in mind when visiting family abroad for an extended period of time: the same rules that go into being a good houseguest here also extend to visiting family and friends abroad.

Use some common sense and good judgement, and you’ll be sure to earn the invite back sometime in the future. Happy travels!