Like many of you, I was deeply saddened by the news of George Floyd’s murder on US Memorial Day. It wasn’t until I heard some of my black coworkers and friends speak up about what they were feeling, and why, however, that I began to understand just how differently people can experience the world based on the colour of their skin.

Today’s post was a scary one for me to write. And if you’re white like me, it’s probably going to be an uncomfortable one to read, too. But I implore you to give it the time, because this issue is so incredibly important to our ability to move forward as a society.

For most of us, it’s ignorance, and not malicious intent, that keeps us from empathizing and taking the right steps to move toward real, lasting progress on this issue. Step one is to acknowledge that we’re ignorant. Step two is to become less ignorant. Educate yourself. Work toward understanding how other peoples’ experiences in the world can differ dramatically from the sheltered bubble you and I grew up in.

Building Empathy

If you’re not sure where to start with that, here’s an exercise. Try to imagine how the experience of a man and a woman looking to go for a night jog at might differ (if you’re a woman reading this, you obviously don’t need to imagine). It might go something like this:

What this example highlights is how the experiences of two different people doing the exact same thing at the exact same time can differ wildly from one another.

Now what if we consider race as part of this example?

Sadly, if you think this is blowing things out of proportion, you’re wrong. Ahmaud Arbery’s life came to an early and heartbreaking end at the hands of two armed white men while he was on an innocent jog, a frequent pastime of his.

Now, imagine dealing with these sorts of disparities in experience amplified one hundred-fold, day-in, day-out, for your entire life. Imagine being passed over for a promotion you know you earned, and seeing it go to someone less deserving because their skin was a different colour. Imagine having regular conversations with your friends about how to talk and dress when in public so that you aren’t singled out for discrimination. And imagine explaining to your child what a police officer does, and feeling like you’re lying when you tell them that they protect people.

For my part, a painful realization of my sheltered worldview came after hearing a friend speaking about the issue to my team at work. As I sat there listening, I wondered what I could do to lend my voice to the conversation, and I thought about my blog, which is generally about topics related to my quest for happiness. “This doesn’t really fit there,” I thought to myself… and the realization hit when I dug into why.

It doesn’t fit because the fear of being persecuted or discriminated against based on the colour of my skin doesn’t factor into my daily happiness equation. The realization hit me like Neo waking up from the Matrix.

I just take it for granted that I won’t have to deal with that, and so instead I get to write about travel, or my exploration of the arts. So you know what? This post absolutely does fit here. This blog is about pursuing happiness, and this post is about each of us doing our part to make sure that everyone, regardless of the colour of their skin, is able to pursue their happiness on an equal playing field.

Taking Action

The above examples are about developing empathy, and that’s a good start. But empathy alone is not enough. I saw an excellent sentiment expressed by Jeff Weiner on LinkedIn that talked about how empathy is a means to an end. Getting to a place of empathy and understanding means nothing if that understanding doesn’t translate into action and lasting change. We have to understand that, by staying silent and choosing not to participate, we’re defaulting to the current societal system that’s set up to disproportionately benefit us as white people.

I know that it’s hard to know where to start, or how to contribute meaningfully to this cause. It’s tempting to think to yourself “I’m one person; how much can I really do?” But the only way we make progress on matters like this is by enough of us collectively saying “Yeah I’m one person, and I’m going to add my contribution to the mix.” If that’s a step you’d like to take, then here are a number of ways you can get involved:

• Do some reading and educate yourself on the issue of racism. So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo is a good place to start if you’re not sure.
• Speak up. Call or write to your local police department or politician and ask them what they’re doing to prevent the continued killing of unarmed black people.
• Protest peacefully.
• Support black-owned businesses.
• Volunteer for an organization working to create lasting change:
  • Your local chapter of Black Lives Matter
  • Black Youth Helpline (in Canada)
  • Color of Change (US)
• If for whatever reason you can’t volunteer your time, you can always donate financially.

One final thought here: being pro-black does not make you anti-white. You’re not jeopardizing your own comfy situation by standing up for others any more than a candle’s flame is diminished when it’s used to ignite another. In other words: This is not a zero-sum game we’re playing here.

Wrapping it Up

Hearing the hurt, the anger, and the exhaustion in the voices of people I care about stirred something up in me that I don’t want to bury again. I’m friends with a number of people of colour, and yet this is the first time I’m adding my voice to the mix. Frankly, it’s embarrassing.

But you know what? The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago; the second best time is right now. It’s never too late to change your position, even if you’ve had your head in the sand for 50 years.

In the words of Macklemore: No freedom ‘til we’re equal. Damn right I support it.