When we hear the term networking, we often conjure up this image in our minds of a slimy businessman working a room to collect as many business cards as possible before signing all of them up for his mailing list against their will. The very thought makes you feel like you need a shower.
Networking doesn’t have to be a dirty word, though. When it’s done right, it allows you to build authentic, meaningful relationships with people by offering value before you ask for anything in return. So how do you go about networking in a way that doesn’t feel dirty?
First, I hope you’ll indulge me in a quick tangent.
Introverts vs. Extroverts
I am an introvert. Not the type that has trouble carrying on a conversation, though; no, in fact if you know me, you’d probably disagree with that first statement. I’m pretty outgoing, after all… but outgoingness isn’t how you define someone as an introvert or extrovert.
No, it’s more about where people recharge their batteries. Introverts might enjoy going out and hanging out in large groups, but it drains their batteries; they recharge at home, in a quiet environment. Extroverts, on the other hand, recharge their batteries by going out and having a blast; it’s staying in and being isolated that drains their batteries.
So why do I even bother to bring this up?
Simple: in my experience, introverts are more likely to run into mental roadblocks than extroverts when it comes to networking. Introverts are often overly conscious of coming across as “slimy” or “salesy,” and will avoid conversations that would be beneficial to both them and the other party because of that limiting belief.
When you reframe the definition of networking though, it becomes a lot easier for anyone to stomach.
Networking is about common ground and adding value.
Don’t think of networking as having a goal of trying to extract value out of the other person; that’s what makes it feel sleazy. Instead, approach it by trying to find shared interests, and figuring out how you can add value to the other person.
In other words, have a real conversation. When you chat with someone new without the goal of getting something in return, it’s amazing how differently you behave in the conversation. Often, it’s the people you talk to without having any ulterior motive that end up most willing and able to help you!
Wrapping it Up
Networking can be summed up in one sentence: it’s about building meaningful relationships with new people. Some people will help you, and others will accept help from you, but along the way you’ll have had a bunch of interesting conversations with people you never would have spoken to otherwise. It’s something to be embraced, not feared… so get out there and have some conversations!
