This is a guest post by my close friend and fellow martial artist James Paradis. James is a Shodan (first-degree black belt) in Goju-Ryu Karate-do, and is also an accomplished student of Modern Arnis, which is a form of Filipino stick and knife fighting. Going forward, I will occasionally feature guest posts by people I know have something valuable to offer readers of this blog.
As the saying goes, better late than never…I could feel the vein in Jason’s forehead about to burst as he followed up with me at the deadline for this post. So here goes nothing! My name is James Paradis, and I’m just a regular guy who also happens to be a martial artist, and an artist in other avenues. This post is just one artist’s perspective on something I would consider to be a good martial arts and life lesson.
My idea for this post all started when Jason first asked me to guest post on his blog site. We were over at his place having dinner, and I had just finished congratulating him on his 100th post. He then looks up at me with a shit-eating grin(pardon my French) and proceeds to say that he now wants to start featuring a few guest posts on his site….and that he wanted mine to be one of the first.
Insert BIG GULP here.
I had to take a moment before accepting such a challenge, as most people would. In that moment, all these doubts and questions start pouring in, like “OMG what the hell am I going to write about? Are people actually going to like what I write? Who’s going to read it?” And a million other doubt-riddled questions and concerns. But then I thought back to my recent martial arts trip to Germany/UK, where I learned a very important lesson: to have courage, and to not let doubts stop you from enjoying life and taking those leaps of faith in yourself. Sometimes in life we too easily accept the status quo and we simply just float by. And so I looked him straight in the eye and gave him my finest wolfish grin and said “Challenge accepted.” So here I am, taking my own medicine and writing to you on the topic of courage and the different forms it comes in.
On Starting Something New
If there is one thing you take away from this talk, it should be to have courage. Have courage in yourself and take that leap; if you are hesitant to start something, just jump in. Whether it’s starting to learn a new language, asking someone special on that date, take that new job opportunity or even just continuing to move forward in life. Life is simply too short to always be looking back or questioning all the things you should have done.
Starting something new is one of the most exciting and scariest experiences of life. Taking that first step is always the hardest, but if you can push yourself just that little bit, even a small step is still a step in the right direction for you to obtain that passion. However small that step may seem, it will start the ball rolling, and soon enough you will be immersed in that new thing. Just like a rock slide, one pebble at a time starts to roll down the hill; then, before long, the whole mountainside is tumbling down. And that terrifying step that you thought was sooo scary isn’t that bad. Why? Because it’s already behind you. And all it took was one moment of courage to make it happen.
On Continuing Something Already Started
Now, having the courage to starting something new is one thing. But once the initial excitement wears off, you might find that the thing you were interested in starts to lose its “new toy” luster. This point is where things get tricky. It takes a different kind of courage to continue on an uncertain path. That language you wanted to learn becomes a little harder; that painting technique isn’t coming out as you wanted it; or those dance moves just aren’t looking as they should. So now that the passion “isn’t working,” what do we do? We start to blame the thing itself: “oh that martial arts technique doesn’t work,” “My drawing pencils aren’t working, and this isn’t the right kind of canvas.”
We find all kinds of reasons why the thing itself isn’t’ working, and yet we rarely think that, maybe, we just haven’t spent enough time immersed in it. This is where courage in oneself and in one’s passion really matters. This is the moment when you have to reach beyond yourself and believe that if you continue, that technique or that language will really come to life. It’s through the doing that we become good at things. Mastery isn’t doing something once or twice; it’s doing it 1000 or even 10,000 times.
On Letting Go of the Old
Lastly, there are times in life when you really need to be honest with yourself. It happens to all of us: we will stay in an unfavorable situation just because it’s what we know, and it’s predictable. But like I said before, life is just way too short to spend it not being happy. We will stay in a negative job or in a toxic relationship because we fear change or the unknown.
It takes courage to leave or quit sometimes; maybe it’s quitting a job that doesn’t make you happy, or ending a relationship that just isn’t fulfilling. Maybe it’s stopping a martial art that you’ve been training in for years but have now lost your purpose for going. These are all real life situations that many of us find ourselves in. In these moments, it takes courage to look deep inside and assess you own happiness levels. If you realize deep down that the situation really isn’t bringing you happiness, then it’s time to be honest with yourself, take that leap of faith that you will be ok in the end, and just let it go.
Wrapping it Up
I heard a great saying the other day “How we stand in our youth, dictates how we sit in our old age”, and I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be sitting tall reminiscing about all the chances I took and the leaps of faith I have taken, than sitting around whining and complaining about all the chances I passed up or was too scared to take.
So to sum up, have courage in yourself to start something new; have the courage to forge on when the passion is there; and finally, have the courage to be honest with yourself when the passion is gone. Find your courage, as I have had to, even just to write this post. This is my first post, but I don’t think it will be my last. So as the world’s greatest martial artist once said “I’ll Be Back.” (Just kidding about the world greatest martial artist part; my Sensei would kill me). But I will be back!!!
