University is an interesting time. It tends to have a polarizing effect on my kids. Some hunker down and focus hard on studying and getting good grades, while others unleash themselves on the world like a bat outta hell. I sort of did both, and looking back, I’m not really proud of the person I became during those years. Today’s post is a bit of a long-overdue apology to those I may have wronged during those four years.
The Slingshot Effect
You know how to use a slingshot, right? Put the rock in the holster, pull back the elastic, and send it flying in the other direction.
That pretty much describes me growing up.
See, I was bullied in elementary school. Not so much physically, but mentally, emotionally, like so many other kids. We didn’t have social media back then, and thank goodness, because I don’t know what I would have done. Anyway, that had the effect of loading the slingshot, pulling it back bit by bit, day by day.
Until finally, I had a chance to start over: university. It was big enough that nobody really knew who I was. I could paint a new picture of myself, and that’s exactly what I did.
There was only one problem: I overshot.
When that slingshot finally released, I flew wayyyyy past self-confidence and landed squarely in the territory of arrogance, narcissism and douchedom. Sure, I made friends, and some of them were incredible people. But some weren’t, which was bound to happen when you’re a douche. What I also did during that time was overlook and/or mistreat some very kind people.
I’m not proud of that, and it is for those individuals – you know who you are – that I write today’s apology. If you knew me in university, and I said or did things to you that hurt you in anyway, I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I was wrestling some demons at that point in my life, and they did a terrible number on my judgment. But that’s no excuse. Just know that I’m sorry, and that that version of myself that existed during those years is dead.
Thankfully, once a slingshot is released, it eventually finds its equilibrium point. It didn’t take long after university to for me to realize that I needed to make some further changes in my life. How fitting that, when I did, I then met my beautiful wife-to-be. These days, I have plenty of self-confidence, but I’m also very aware of where that line is where you start to cross back into arrogance. That’s a line I never want to cross again.
Wrapping it Up
As the saying goes, the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago; the second-best time is now. This apology is long overdue, but there’s no time like the present to get it out there. Just know this: it’s also never too late to reinvent yourself, to change who you are and what you stand for. If you look yourself in the mirror, and don’t like the person who looks back, you’re not stuck with them. You can make the conscious choice to do better, to be better. It’s a choice I’m trying to make every single day.
