Earlier this year I wrote a post about how people have different goals and definitions of success in life. The message was that we’re not competing, even if you think we are. We’re playing different games. I was thinking about that idea a little further this week; it was less about the competition between people though, and more about an equation that factors into the race we mentally force ourselves to run.

What I realized is that there’s a value equation at work there, and it can work either for or against you.

Let’s look at a couple examples; one at work, and the other at home. At work, you could have your eye on that next promotion. Maybe it’s Senior Manager, maybe it’s Director; whatever. Say your definition of success is to get there as fast as possible.

Great! So what does the give-get equation look like here?

Well, the get side is pretty standard: you get more money, maybe a little more prestige, a nice ego boost, and so on. But in your race to get that promotion as fast as possible, what did you give up? That’s a little harder to answer. Did you give up your morals because you stepped on people to get there? Did you give up your foundation because you rushed so fast that you’re not set up to be the kind of leader you’d like to be? Did you give up your passion because the promotion took you away from the work you love most?

Let’s look at another example.

You know those neighbours that always seem to have the best of everything? Believe they’re called the Joneses or something… anyway. You hate ‘em, and you’re determined to one-up them just this once. Only problem is, they’re a doctor-lawyer couple making $400,000 a year between them, and you’re not. But you try and keep up anyway. You get all this nice furniture, buy a nice car, and make the expensive upgrades to your home to make it appear like you’ve got it all figured out.

Here, the give-get equation is a little more clear-cut.

On the “get” side, you get a bunch of nice things, along with the satisfaction that you kept up – or maybe you did even beat them this time around. On the give side, you probably overextended yourself into debt, and gave up your ability to sleep soundly at night… even if you weren’t aware of it right away. You may have even given up your long-term happiness, because deep down you know that happiness doesn’t come from material goods.

The interesting thing about the equation is that you can make it work the other way as well. Let’s go back to the workplace example. What if, instead of rushing to get that promotion, you instead took your time and focused on developing the business acumen and fundamentals to make sure that, when you do get there, you’re set up to do really, really well in that role?

In that case, you’ve flipped the equation on its head. You give up the short-term satisfaction of “winning the race” and getting there fast, but you get the long-term satisfaction of knowing you got there in a way you feel good about, and that will help you be even more successful in the future. This is where the real power of the equation rests.

Wrapping it Up

Some people say it’s the journey that counts. Others say it’s the destination. If you buy into the give-get equation though, then you start to see that binary decision point as pure BS. It’s not a this-or-that question; rather, how you approach the journey, whatever journey that may be, actually changes how you’ll view the destination.